my phone cant type all the emotion im having
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
organizing the empties. That sober.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
