I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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