I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
