I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
