How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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