you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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