Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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