toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
