I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
