Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
