I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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