Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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