I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
