for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
