Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
