Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
