Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
