i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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