how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
