So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
