I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
