i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
