Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
