Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
