i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
