I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
