If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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