I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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