everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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