Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
