So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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