i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
