There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
