yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
