Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
