Say something about gay babies.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
