He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize