How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
