I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
this is an emotional support booty call
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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