This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
