I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
