Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
