The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
