Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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