Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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