i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I want is dick and wine.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
