thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
