So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Boobs speak an international language.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
