I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
