I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Jerry, you need to find god
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
