We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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