I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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