So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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