question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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